You really can’t make this shit up…
My friend and neighbour, J’Red, who’s also a cop, calls out over the fence:
J’Red: Hey Betty!
Me (Quite concerned. I don’t like his tone. Something’s afoot): What is it J’Red?
J’Red: Listen, I just got a call from Fitzy that people have been door knocking–
Me (interrupting): Freaking politicians – it’s that damned election next week.
J’Red: No, not that sort of door knocking. Two people are knocking on peoples’ doors to see if anyone’s home.
Me (furrowed brow): Are they dressed as nuns?
J’Red (he and his misses, T’Red, are quite used to me and JJ now): What? They’re junkies or something. Fitzy’s called the cops. I just thought with JJ away–
Me: You’ve been talking to my mum, haven’t you?
J’Red: Seriously. What are you talking about? Just lock your doors.
Me (Quite concerned. I don’t like his tone. Something’s afoot): What is it J’Red?
J’Red: Listen, I just got a call from Fitzy that people have been door knocking–
Me (interrupting): Freaking politicians – it’s that damned election next week.
J’Red: No, not that sort of door knocking. Two people are knocking on peoples’ doors to see if anyone’s home.
Me (furrowed brow): Are they dressed as nuns?
J’Red (he and his misses, T’Red, are quite used to me and JJ now): What? They’re junkies or something. Fitzy’s called the cops. I just thought with JJ away–
Me: You’ve been talking to my mum, haven’t you?
J’Red: Seriously. What are you talking about? Just lock your doors.
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