I am a fairly failed goal keeper. I have been excellent, truly perfect at making decisions and goals. But I always second guess myself, and I give up.

It’s like the “new diary” meme (if it’s not a meme, it should be).

And I feel a tremendous amount of guilt around this. Like, I kick myself for years, far longer than the 10 minutes it took me to come up with my new goal. Why? And new goals always have to be SMART and that means it has to be a goal worthy of over-analysing. No wonder I don’t maintain my emotional fortitude. I know I can’t reach the goal and I’m not much of a journey gal, so going up is obvious.

I decided to be goalless in the last year or so. But it hasn’t felt as good as I expexted. There has still been hand-wringing, and what ifs and what’s wrong with yous.

But I was just thinking, what if I set goals that are simple and not stretching or time based? Like:

• Clean the cat loos
• Make puff pastry
• Take 2 photos today
• Read
• Cook something new
• Have guests to dinner
• Call mum
• Play guitar

These feel manageable and realistic.

But then I also wonder – what differentiates me from the real go-getters who work hard, they’re passionate and always on the top of they’re game? Meantime, I’m over here writing “clean cat litter” as a goal.

PS. The day after writing this post I read an article about “letting go of your hopes and dreams” and this part resonated.

“It would be easy to see this thinking as bleak, almost nihilistic. Well, the more I thought about it and tried to apply it to my approach to life, the more it seemed to set me free, as Thaemlitz rightly observed in the documentary. Instead of postponing the sort of happiness and satisfaction I was hoping (ha!) for from my work as a musician, journalist etc., I started to find pleasure in what was already there for me.”

Read the whole article, by Francesco Fusaro HERE

Photo: The Capo dei Capi Sicilian mafia boss (I'm too scared to mention his name) who has spent 30 years on the run (on an island) has been caught.